A Fresh Start For Us Both
by emmareden
Summary: A kind of AU where Kate has rescued Claire from the island and takes her home to Australia, so they can both have a fresh start. Claire has some kind of PTSD and struggles to readjust to normal living.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Doing this more for myself because I don't think there's many Kate/Claire readers anymore, but that's fine :D I still love them! Anyway, I guess this is some kind of AU where it wasn't as crazy as the tv show, but Claire did get left behind on the island for three years, but Kate organised like a special search or something (with her oceanic settlement money) to find her and bought her home, where she struggles to readjust to everyday living.

**Chapter 1.**

"Claire?"

The voice spoke softly from behind her and Claire turned around; her eyes connecting with the concerned one's of Kate's.

"Oh, hey," she simply said softly.

Kate's eyes swept over the other woman and the hut that she had built in the backyard.

"This is where you disappear to in the nights?" she asked quietly.

Claire bit her lip and shrugged, "Yeah…" she looked to the ground, ashamed.

"Claire," Kate stepped forward and tentatively took the other woman's hand, "You don't have to live like this anymore. You're home now, you're safe now."

Claire looked to the makeshift home she had created before looking back to Kate, "It's just… inside, I feel so trapped. I don't know how to live…normally, anymore," she stopped, sighing, "You don't get it," she muttered, "You escaped… I was left behind…" she trailed off.

Kate could feel her heart breaking; just like it always did whenever Claire spoke of those lost three years where she'd been left behind and forced to fend for herself on the island.

"I know," she nodded slowly, "But I want to understand, I want to help you."

Claire's eyes were wide as she looked into Kate's, seeing only sincerity, "I don't know if you can."

Kate swallowed hard; the last thing Claire needed was for her to fall apart, "I can," she whispered, "You just have to let me, honey. It's not going to get better all at once, but slowly, you'll readjust to this life, it's where you're meant to be."

"It doesn't feel like home anymore," Claire mumbled.

"But it will," Kate squeezed her hands in her own, "It's just going to take some time," she pulled the blonde woman closer and met her gaze, "And I will be here to do whatever I can to make it easier for you. I will be here for whatever you need."

Claire stared back and nodded quietly, before wrapping her arms around Kate and burrowing her head into her shoulders. She felt Kate's arms encircle her and for a moment, at least, she felt a little safer.

"Shh, it's okay," Kate whispered as the smaller woman sobbed into her shoulder, "There's no rush, okay?"

"Thank you," Claire mumbled, pulling back, "I don't know where I'd be without you."

Kate smiled, brushing a tear from the other woman's eye, "You will never know because I'm always going to be here."

Claire smiled a little and looked back at her hut, "You want to come in?"

Kate rolled her eyes with a smile but followed her in, "Hm, you've definitely got skills," she noted, looking around; it looked just like Claire's hut back on the island, minus a few weapons and, she noticed, her eyes settling on the corner where Claire had once kept Aaron's crib, was left bare too.

"Well…yeah, I didn't go all out," Claire said quietly, standing next to Kate, "He's gone, Kate. I know that," she blinked quickly, trying to stop the threatening tears, "You tried… I just wasn't meant to be a mother, I suppose."

Kate sighed and put an arm around her friend's shoulders, "The island poisoned him, Claire. His immune system wasn't strong enough to deal with it the way ours was. But you were an amazing mother and you will be again," she squeezed Claire's shoulders again.

Claire nodded, "Maybe."

"Come on, why don't we go inside? I'll make you breakfast," Kate suggested.

Claire smiled, "Okay," she agreed, "But can we at least sit on the veranda?"

Kate smiled; it was hard not to when Claire's eyes lit up like that, "Sure," she agreed, "Whatever you like."

"Thank you for breakfast," Claire smiled, "It was delicious."

Kate bit her lip as she smiled, "Any time. You're very easy to please," she laughed.

"Your cooking isn't that bad," Claire teased, before tilting her head, "I do like it here with you," she squinted slightly, "You make me feel…safer than I have felt in a long time."

"I like having you here," Kate smiled, "You know, I don't really like people so much, but you, I like," she grinned.

Claire giggled, "I like you too," she nodded.

"You know, Claire," Kate leaned forward over the table, "I ran for a really long time, jumped from place to place, I could never settle… So I get the feeling trapped thing, really I do… so, if you need to go to that hut you built in the yard, I get it," she paused, "But if you're going to sleep out there, please let's at least get you some warm blankets, I don't want you to get sick."

Claire watched her friend wide eyed and nodded, "Okay," she whispered, "Warm blankets."

"And no guns or axes, okay?" Kate said, the hint of a smile on her lips.

Claire laughed quietly, "Okay, okay."

"I might head to the shops today, did you want to come?" Kate asked.

Claire shook her head, "No," she said quickly, "I can't."

Kate nodded, "Okay, that's okay. I've just got to get some groceries done. You know, though, you've got all that settlement money… I don't think you've really touched it…"

Claire shrugged, "I know… I should probably get some new clothes or something…"

Kate sighed, "More than that, Claire. You should spoil yourself, treat yourself for once. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it."

Claire grimaced, "I don't know," she mumbled, "What did you do when you got your money?"

Kate let out an amused breath, "Well, I bought this place, got the entertainment system , a whole wardrobe I'll never go through," she shrugged, "Come on, if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?"

Claire blinked, "Oh. I don't know," she replied, "I really don't know."

Kate shrugged, "Well, think about it. Anything. Really, Claire, you deserve everything. More than money could ever buy."

"You're sweet," Claire blushed.

"It's just the truth," Kate mumbled as she picked up the dishes and took them to the kitchen, leaving Claire looking after her. Claire bit her lip as she sighed and watched Kate walk away. She'd been so good to Claire, other than saving her from the island, she had taken her in and was trying, even though it was a struggle, to get Claire back into living in the real world.

Sometimes Claire was confused by her feelings for Kate. On the island, they'd been friends but when Kate had come back, after three years, there was this intense relief Claire felt upon seeing a familiar face. She'd clung to that and surprisingly, Kate had understood and accepted her clinging behaviour to the point of asking her to move in when they had arrived in Australia; Kate wanted a fresh start and she had promised to bring Claire home. It had only been a few weeks but Kate had been by her side constantly.

Kate seemed to be the only one who could make her feel safe or comforted. When she touched Claire, hugging her or touching her face like she often did, the younger woman felt butterflies in her stomach. At times she just wanted to crash into Kate's chest and stay there forever, breathing in her scent and feeling her heart beat against her ear.

Recently, though, she felt like kissing Kate. Connecting with her in a different way, a physical way. She missed intimacy, but it was more than that, sometimes she thought maybe she loved Kate, or, if she was honest, what she really meant was she thought she was falling in love with Kate. She just didn't know how to tell her, but sometimes she thought maybe it wasn't one way.

Small things, like how dedicated Kate was to taking care of her, the way her stare lingered and the way every time Claire let herself smile Kate's eyes would light up. The way Kate would brush her hair, a tradition that had started on the plane home when Claire had been almost catatonic, the way she would offer a hand or a simple touch whenever Claire went quiet.

"Claire?" Kate interrupted her thoughts, that concerned look back in her eyes.

Claire blinked and looked up guiltily, "Sorry, did you say something?"

"I was just saying I might head off to the shops now – "

"I'll come," Claire said suddenly, shocking both of them; she'd barely left the property in the few weeks they'd been in Australia.

Kate frowned, "Are you… Okay, sure," she nodded.

Claire bit her lip as she smiled and took Kate's hand tentatively. Kate smiled as she took it and squeezed.

"You'll be fine," Kate reassured her, "I'll be right by your side, honey," she squeezed her hand again, hesitating, "We'll be fine."

Claire smiled; she liked it when Kate referred to them as 'we'.

She nodded, "Okay. I should go get showered, then… and find some clean clothes," she chewed her lip, "Make myself presentable…" she said, patting her messy hair self-consciously; she still wasn't used to taking care of herself, aesthetics hadn't exactly been a priority on the island.

Kate touched Claire's hand and pulled it away from her hair, "You look fine," she said, "Why don't you go shower and I'll find you something to wear. Okay?"

Claire nodded, "Okay," she echoed, "Thank you, Kate."

Kate smiled as the other woman headed to the bathroom; it was strange, she thought, anyone else being so clingy and needy would have made her want a run a mile, but she didn't mind taking care of Claire at all. In fact, she actually enjoyed it. She knew Claire felt guilty about how much Kate was doing for her, but Kate knew Claire would be okay. She was already better than she had been the first week, where she'd insisted on sleeping in the backyard and didn't even think about a shower until Kate had suggested it.

Now she was showering most days and even about to leave the house for the first time in weeks. Things were already getting better and Kate knew that things would continue on the upwards incline. Then maybe, she wouldn't feel like she would be taking advantage of Claire if she were to make her true feelings known.

She smiled as she heard Claire's soft voice singing as she turned the water off; her accent was damn cute enough when she spoke, let alone when she started singing. Kate found some clothes for Claire and lay them out on the bed.

Claire was squeezing Kate's hand tightly and Kate squeezed right back, flashing that reassuring smile.

"You okay?" Kate asked, steering the shopping trolley with a single hand as Claire refused to let go of her hand, not that she minded.

Claire nodded, "Mhm," she hummed unconvincingly, "It's just…" she looked around, "loud. And weird. It's so…busy."

Kate nodded understandingly, "Yeah, it was like that when I got back too. Lived on island time for a while."

"Island time," Claire repeated, "Hmm, I used to wear a watch every day, now I never look at the clock, just the sun."

"It's different here though, we don't have to just…fight to survive now, we have a chance to truly live."

"Truly live," Claire repeated, "I don't know what that is anymore."

Kate sighed, "Me either," she admitted, "I guess it just means living with a sense of purpose."

Claire shrugged, "Purpose," she sighed.

Kate smiled, "We'll figure it out, honey."

There was that word, we, again and it made Claire smile as they turned down the next aisle.

"Oh! Peanut butter!" she exclaimed happily, letting go of Kate's hand to grab a large jar of peanut butter excitedly, "I love peanut butter."

Kate laughed, "I know you do. The first week you were back, it was the only thing I could get you to eat," she reminisced.

Claire blushed, her cheeks growing rosy, "Well, I think we should get more! You can never have too much peanut butter."

Kate shook her head, smiling, "Of course not," she teased gently, "I think that's about it. Did you want to wander for a while, or go back home?"

Claire nibbled on her bottom lip, "Can we go home?" she asked quietly.

"Of course," Kate nodded as she began unloading the groceries onto the checkout, smiling politely at the girl behind the counter.

"Thank you," Claire said quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

"Maybe we could go and see a movie or something?" Kate suggested, after another week of barely leaving the house.

Claire shrugged, "Maybe," she said uncommitedly.

"You did well the other day," Kate smiled.

Claire put her coffee on the table and curled her legs up beside her as Kate took a seat on the couch beside her.

"Only because of you," she mumbled.

Kate rolled her eyes, "You underestimate yourself, you know. You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for."

Claire bit her lip, "Maybe," she said unsurely, "I've been thinking about what you said, you know about living with purpose?"

"Oh yeah?" Kate raised her eyebrows.

"Hmm, I thought maybe…eventually, I could go back to tafe, you know, school here…" she shrugged.

"What would you study?" Kate asked curiously, inside beaming at hearing Claire consider real life as an option and the future as a possibility.

"Well, I had started my tattoo artistry course, but I dropped out when… I got pregnant," Claire shrugged, "I miss it though," she admitted.

Kate laughed, "It always seems funny to me that you were into all that."

Claire tilted her head, "All what?"

"Tattoo's and piercings and whatnot," Kate replied, "I mean, you're so…," she trailed off.

Claire squinted at the other woman, "So what?" she prompted.

Kate chuckled, "I don't know. Sweet."

Claire giggled, "All types of people like tattoo's, you know. It's a misunderstood art form," she explained.

Kate nodded, "Sure it is. You're a very interesting woman, Miss Littleton."

"Oh, shush you," Claire blushed, "So, don't you have any tattoo's?"

Kate smiled slyly, "I do," she couldn't help laughing at the curiosity in the blonde woman's eyes. She smirked and she stood up and pulled her top slightly, showing the beginning of a cherry blossom tattoo that curled over her waist, ending just below her ribs.

Claire lent forward and stared at it for a few moments, before tracing a finger over it, "It's beautiful, Kate. Whoever did this was a real artist," she bit her lip, "I hope I can be so good one day," she finished with a sigh.

Kate beamed, "I've seen you scribbling in that book of yours, you are good. Hey, how about you give me my next one, hey?"

Claire grinned, "Really? I would be honoured," she withdrew her hand from Kate's skin, "Your skin is like the perfect canvas."

Kate laughed, "That's a compliment, right? A weird one, maybe, but a compliment?"

Claire chuckled, "It's an artists compliment, yes!"

Kate sat back down beside the other woman as she grinned, "You should look into it, Claire, I think it would be good for you."

Claire smiled, "Yeah, perhaps," she yawned, "Can't we just watch a movie here?" she lent her head back against the couch and looked at Kate, who sighed with a smile and a nod, reaching for the remote.

* * *

Kate didn't want to push Claire too far or too fast. The doctor's had said it would be a slow and long process, with the trauma that she had been through. Kate tried to understand, after all, when she had first arrived home, she'd struggled too, they all had, the oceanic six, they called them.

At first, they had all stuck together, but eventually Kate had gotten tired of the same old games that Jack and Sawyer would play. When she'd finally found someone who would take her money to search over the Pacific Ocean again, it had been easy to decide that when she found Claire she would take her home; to Australia. A fresh start for them both.

It was hard enough to readjust to a normal life after a few months trapped on that island, a completely different way of living. Kate couldn't imagine having been there a further three years, especially alone for the most part. She only hated that it had taken them so long to locate the island, and then to find Claire.

So she let Claire sleep in that makeshift hut most nights. However, one night when it began pouring with rain, she was forced to draw the line. She pulled on a hoodie and hands deep in her in pockets, she braved the rain and ran outside.

She could have laughed; Claire appeared to be sleeping peacefully, curled up under the heavy blankets Kate had given her. The hut seemed to be pretty watertight, only leaking in a couple of places near the entrance. Still, it was freezing out here, Kate thought, Claire could get sick if she spent the night out here.

She bent on her knees and shook the other woman's shoulder gently.

"Claire," she whispered, shaking a little harder.

"Mm," Claire groaned, "Kate? It's the middle of the night," her eyes fluttered closed again.

"Honey, it's freezing, it's pouring with rain. You need to come inside," Kate said gently.

Claire pulled the covers tighter, "I'm fine," she mumbled, "The blankets are warm."

Kate shook her head, "Please, Claire, I don't want you to get sick."

Claire groaned again but opened her eyes and rolled onto her back to look at Kate's eyes; once again, filled with worry. She sighed, "Oh, fine then, if you're going to give me those eyes."

Kate smiled with relief, "Thank you," she stood up as Claire clung on to her arm to pull herself up.

"Now it's cold," Claire said, shivering.

Kate rolled her eyes, "It's freezing! Come on," she led the blonde to the entrance and they made a run for it, not that it stopped the rain soaking them by the time they crashed in through the back door.

Kate ripped her soaked hoodie off, shivering and didn't even think as she tore her under shirt and track pants off.

Claire stared at the woman who was now in standing in the lounge in only her underwear, rubbing her hands together, trying to warm herself up.

"Sorry, now you're all soaked and freezing. I hope you don't get sick," Claire apologised guiltily.

Kate smiled wryly, "It's fine," she said, "You should get out of those wet clothes."

Claire nodded but headed to her room to get changed, appearing a few minutes later in new, dry clothes as had Kate, who was sitting on the couch, her teeth still chattering.

"Is the heater on?" Claire took a seat next to her.

Kate nodded wordlessly.

Claire bit her lip anxiously, "You're so cold," she mumbled, touching Kate's arm before she wrapped her arms around her, running her hands up and down the other woman's arms.

Kate leaned into her, burying her face in the smaller woman's chest, "Mm," she merely mumbled.

"Come on, warm up," Claire pulled her tighter, "You know body heat is the quickest way to warm up."

Kate giggled, "Yeah, at least that island taught us something, huh?"

Claire nodded, "Yep," she agreed before pulling Kate up and taking her into her bedroom, "Here, get under the blankets."

She crawled into the bed beside Kate and wrapped her arms back around her. It felt nice to be the one taking care of Kate for once and it was definitely more than nice to be this close to her.

"Thank you," Kate said in a shaky breath, finally starting to warm up.

Claire bit back a smile, "It's alright! You're always supporting me, it's nice to take care of you for once."

Kate smiled into Claire's chest, "Mm, you still smell of rain," she murmured.

"Is that…bad?" Claire asked self-consciously.

Kate laughed quietly, "It's good, I like the smell of rain."

Claire felt a smile spread across her face and let out a small giggle as Kate pulled back to look at her.

"You're blushing!" Kate observed.

Claire felt her cheeks burn deeper, "Oh," she averted her eyes, "Well," she took a deep and nervous breath, "I like it when you compliment me."

Kate squinted at her, "Oh yeah?" she asked.

Claire nodded meekly, chewing her lips.

"Well, I like complimenting you," Kate smiled.

Claire sighed, "Kate…" she stopped, her anxieties building in her chest.

Kate tilted her head, her eyes crinkling as she hesitated, "What is it?"

"I…," Claire sighed, "It's nothing," she muttered; she really didn't want to lose the only person she had.

Kate blinked and frowned, "Claire…"

Claire met her eyes, expectation shining in them.

Kate sighed as she put a hand on Claire's face, brushing her thumb under her eyes and before either of them knew it, she lent in and pressed her lips against Claire's soft ones. Claire took a deep breath in through her nostrils as her lips responded enthusiastically, feeling every sensation. Kate's warm breath, her hand still stroking her cheek, her soft but firm lips moving against her own and then when her gentle tongue slid across her lips before entering her mouth, quickly finding their rhythm until they ran out of breath and pulled apart slowly.

Claire bit her lip as Kate licked her own, their eyes locked.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Kate whispered, her fingers still trailing the blonde's cheek.

Claire hummed happily, "Then why didn't you? I didn't know… I didn't want to lose you…"

"Never," Kate whispered, "I didn't want to…take advantage of you when you were vulnerable."

Claire rolled her eyes, "It's not taking advantage, Kate. I can still make my own decisions," she grinned slyly, "Plus, maybe I want you to…take advantage," the colour rose to her cheeks again.

Kate let out a laugh, "Is that right?" she asked, a sparkle in her eye.

Claire shrugged with a smile, "Mhm," she replied, her eyes betraying her as they grew heavy and they fluttered closed as she fought a yawn.

"You're tired," Kate murmured.

"Mm," Claire nodded lazily, "You should stay here… Please?" her eyes widened as she looked at Kate.

Kate beamed, "I'd love to," she whispered as she pulled Claire closer, running her hand through blonde hair as she nestled into Kate's chest as they both fell into the best sleep either of them had had in years.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

Kate watched Claire sleep peacefully. She looked like a damn angel when she slept, her face clear of any worry lines or anxieties. She couldn't help placing a hand in blonde hair, playing with it almost absently.

"Mm," Claire hummed her eyes fluttered open lazily.

Kate winced, "Sorry, honey, go back to sleep," she murmured.

Claire smiled dazedly, "It's okay, it feels nice," she closed her eyes again.

Kate laughed softly, "Hey, you slept through the night though," she whispered, "Well, since I came and dragged you inside, that is."

Claire opened her eyes, screwing her face up as she looked at the clock, "It's morning!" she exclaimed, "Well, that's weird."

Kate laughed at the confused look on the other woman's face, "It is," she confirmed.

"I think that's the first night I've slept through since…since the island," Claire said.

Kate nodded, "I think so, too."

Claire blinked slowly, "Oh," she said, coming to a realisation, "Have I been keeping you awake?" she asked quietly, an element of guilt in her voice.

Kate bit her lip, "Well no," she said quickly, "It's just, you go to bed inside and by the morning you're usually outside…and yeah, sometimes I hear you walking around…"

"I'm sorry," Claire interjected, but stopped when Kate waved a hand at her.

"Don't worry about it," Kate insisted, her hand still playing with the other woman's hair as she sighed, "So…last night…"

Claire nodded, biting her lip unsure of herself, "Last night…" she echoed, trailing off.

"Are you…sorry it happened?" Kate asked, uncharacteristically lacking her usual confidence.

"No!" Claire said quickly, then biting her lip sheepishly but comforted as Kate's face broke into a grin, "I mean…well…," she shrugged.

Kate smiled, "Well?" she prompted, biting back a smile.

Claire squinted at the other woman before relaxing and laughing freely, "Shut up," she pouted.

Kate chuckled and put her arms around the smaller woman, burying her face in her shoulder, "Now you smell like rain and sleep," she claimed sleepily.

Claire felt the heat rise to her pale cheeks again, "Oh man," she mumbled, pushing Kate away gently.

"Hey," Kate pushed right back, "I like it," she nestled back into the blonde's shoulder, "It's a pretty smell."

"You're strange," Claire chuckled.

Kate shrugged as she pulled back, "You like strange, right?"

Claire laughed, "I do," she replied.

Kate nodded, "You know…" she hesitated, "I've never been more… still than this."

Claire frowned, "Because you were always running?" she asked, wide blue eyes fixed on the woman beside her.

Kate nodded again, "Yeah. I mean, where ever I was, I always felt like running, jumping to the next thing, even if I was in a relationship… I don't know, I could never just stay still."

"The island must have been hell for you," Claire commented.

Kate shrugged, "It was. I mean, especially at first," she started, "But… I don't know, in a weird kind of way, I guess it taught me to stay in one place…in a forced kind of way. "

Claire nodded, "Hmm, I guess it taught us all something."

"Mm," Kate hummed, "I guess I'm thankful for it in a strange kind of way," she frowned for a moment, "I mean, for the first time I want to stay in one place," she smiled.

Claire's lips curved into a small smile, "Yeah?"

Kate nodded, "Yeah," she placed a hand on Claire's cheek, "I'm going to kiss you again now," she whispered, moving her face closer to the Claire's, pausing only a second before she pressed her lips gently to the other woman's. Claire melted into the kiss, revelling in the sensation of Kate's mouth moving against her own and almost groaned when they finally pulled apart.

"You're very good at that," Kate murmured.

Claire giggled, "So are you," she bit her lip, "May I ask you something?"

Kate narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "Sure, shoot."

The blonde chewed her lip nervously, heat flooding over her pale cheeks as Kate watched her curiously.

"What is it? You're blushing again," Kate prompted.

Claire pulled her teeth out of her lip, "Well, did you always like girls?" she blurted.

Kate laughed, "Oh, I see," she smiled, "Hm, I guess so. I'm not picky," she shrugged.

Claire snorted, "Not picky? That's what you call it."

Kate raised an eyebrow, "Why, what do you call it?"

Clare looked away and shrugged, "I don't. I just…I don't know."

The brunette tilted her head, "Did you ever like a girl before?" she asked.

Claire hesitated but nodded quietly, "Well, yes. But I never kissed a girl before," she admitted.

Kate grinned, "So I'm special then?"

Claire bit her lip again, "Very," she replied seriously, "So you…"

Kate shrugged, "Sure, I've been with girls before. Once or twice."

Claire nodded, "Been with…" she echoed unconsciously.

Kate laughed, "You are a curious woman, aren't you? Yes, been with. Spent the night with. Any more euphemisms that will paint the picture for you?" she teased.

Claire pouted, "Oh, shut up," she pushed at Kate's shoulder gently, "I just thought you were straight, okay?"

"Labels are stupid," Kate sighed, "I like guys, sure, but I like girls too," she shrugged.

Claire nodded, "Well, I like you."

Kate giggled and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, pulling her close, "Mm, well I like you too," she murmured, "But no rush, okay? I didn't bring you home to hook in with you, I bought you home to – "

"To live my life with purpose," Claire finished, "Well, what if part of that purpose is to be with you?" she bit her lip anxiously, scared of being too forward.

Kate felt that tugging in the back of her mind; that thing that always told her to run, but then she saw Claire's wide, bright blue eyes watching her anxiously and those teeth digging into her lip gently, like they so often did and it went away. Still wasn't something to be feared and avoided anymore; for the first time in her life, still was what she wanted.

"Claire," she placed a hand on the other woman's cheek, "You give _my _life purpose."


End file.
